Every Wednesday during the 2017 season, Joe Caporoso will break down the upcoming week of NFL action. Unfasten the belts and prepare to gorge on another weekend of fandom, fantasy, gambling, tweeting, cheering, complaining…and complaining.
Week 1 is a cruel slap back to reality for many teams. Yet, it also often leads to knee jerk overreactions when analyzing those teams. Week 1 is always a little screwy, as teams have not established tendencies and have not fully adjusted to the new pieces on their roster. Some problems we saw week 1 are not going away: Andy Dalton being the Bengals quarterback, the Colts being totally hapless and the Cardinals dealing with a full Jake Delhomme’d Carson Palmer and a David Johnson injury, while others may rectify themselves: Houston if they get Duane Brown back, the Giants if they get Odell back and the Patriots figuring something out on defense.
As a full on football apologist, even I can admit the quality of play was low in week 1. It was a mess offensively and at the quarterback position. There were blowouts all over the place and a frustrating amount of injuries. Teams will sharpen up throughout September but there will likely still be patches of ugliness this weekend. We will see things this weekend that make no sense after last weekend and we will see things that build on trends begun in week 1. Let’s hope for more competitive games and some semblance of competence at a quarterback position in desperate need of Sam Darnold, Josh Rosen, Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen…and for god’s sake NFL coaches, STOP PUNTING LATE IN THE GAME WHEN YOU ARE DOWN MULTIPLE POSSESSIONS (Looking at you, Todd).
A Three Team Tease Is Always A Bad Idea But…
- Raiders (-7.5), New England (-.5), Cardinals (-1)
I see no feasible way the Jets stay within one possession in Oakland. It is hard to see the Patriots going 0-2, especially with 10 days to prepare and with what the Saints defense looked like last Monday. The Cardinals looked hideous week 1 but they are playing a CFL team…and trust me I know what a CFL team looks like from covering the Jets.
- Green Bay (+2.5), Houston (+6.5)
I’m buying a Packers defense “we got absolutely humiliated by this team last year” revenge game. As a foremost Deshaun Watson-Stan, I think he can keep Houston within a touchdown of the Daltons. MAKE ME LOOK SMART, YOUNG GUN!
- Vikings (+5.5) vs. Pittsburgh
Mike Zimmer teams have a way of balling out early in the season and this line seems a touch high against a Pittsburgh team who kind of struggled with Cleveland last week. This should be a field goal game.
- QB – Carson Palmer
- RB – Marshawn Lynch
- RB – Mark Ingram
- WR – Cooper Kupp
- WR – Julio Jones
- WR – Doug Baldwin
- TE – Travis Kelce
- K – Justin Tucker
- D – Seattle
Overrated Snack Of The Week
Boneless Wings – How have we not blamed millennials yet for taking the BONES out of WINGS? When you eat wings it is supposed to be an ongoing battle to rip as much meat off the bone as possible and feel like a caveman while you pile the bones high and smugly look around the room to show off how much you ate. None of this one bite, no clean up nonsense. Get your hands dirty, people!
Random Internet Complaint
ENOUGH with the first place jokes after week 1. We get it. It is funny and oh so crazy that Buffalo, Los Angeles and Jacksonville are IN FIRST PLACE with only 15 games left to play. Who could have ever imagined such an insane thing would have happened that is actually completely meaningless and indicative of nothing in the big picture?
Survivor Pick Power Rankings
- New England
Survivor Status: Still Alive!
Random NFL GIF
With footwork like this, it is amazing Mike Maccagnan hasn’t signed Savage yet.
- Tarik Cohen will disappoint everyone who picked him up in fantasy.
- Adrian Peterson will have less than 40 yards rushing.
- Brandon Marshall will have less than 50 yards receiving and a subsequent locker room issue.
- Marshawn Lynch is scoring his first touchdown of the season.
- Chris Carson will clearly take over as Seattle’s lead back.
NFL Coach Reminders (Mostly For Todd Bowles)
- Don’t go for 2 in the 3rd quarter.
- Don’t punt with less than 5 minutes left, down two possessions.
- Don’t double down on your wrong decision to the media.
Photo Credit: NFL.com