All About History And The Sell
“I’ve handled dozens of balls over the past week. We rub it to get the ball to the proper texture. What I’ve found from this study is, the man can only ride you when your back is bent. So strengthen it! Then the man can’t ride you, America won’t get taken for a ride.” How’s that for a bizarro Belichick-Palin Saturday PC mash-up. Hey, I tried.
While the Pats HC went from the innocent blank slate of a child to a Nobel laureate in science overnight in explaining why all the Pats balls were flat, Palin tested the waters in Iowa at some Freedom Summit in peculiar fashion. Whatever (with a Belichikian shrug). It’s about history and the sell anyway. Not the facts. So tell me, did their performances convince you?
People who don’t believe the Patriots this time refuse to do so because they cheated last time. When Eric Mangini the Jets Head Coach and told the world about the big bad spying secret.
Palin once said she could see Russia from the backyard and the press ran with it to discredit her handle on foreign policy like a speed back through a giant hole with yards of daylight ahead. Murmurs about her interest in 2016 came tied to last weekend’s event. Not a great way to re-enter the arena.
History has already helped the anti-Palin media line up those “Russia” type soundbites just in case. She could ill afford adding another doozy to that mixtape. From a sales standpoint.
Saturday’s entertaining presser by Belichick to save his own legacy (He should’ve worn a “Go ask Tom” t shirt sponsored by Flexball at the podium) was one part political, one part professorial. Whose aim was convincing us all that “atmospheric conditions” were the real culprit (The Colts balls didn’t seem affected one bit but hey..). That the organization is always about fair play.
It was also one part pro wresting. Hyping up the Super Bowl even more than it already is, albeit by accident. How’s this for overarching story lines. The Seahawks vs the Cheaters. Or in Bill’s on the fly revisionist eyes, the Seahawks vs the patriotic colonists fighting back against mis-characterization. “We are not what you think. We can be free from this stigma and these conditions you know.” Vince McMahon couldn’t have written a better script.
It’s been some sideshow, hasn’t it? Of course the Jets are involved in this round too as Mike Kensil (a former Jet employee back when BB stepped down as HC in 2000, now VP of game operations in the NFL office) heads the league’s investigation on this.
Vendettas anyone? Hehehe (evil Kensil grinds hands slowly together). Got any paranoia about this Pats fans? You should. Because after all “We can’t topple you, but we can bury you. Aliiiive (cue up some cheesy horror movie theme song).
If this Ballghazi search finds anything (Watch, some snot nosed sacrificial ball boy will face the firing squad over this next week) please Mr. Goodell (need a vacation from this season yet?), hand out fines or suspensions later. After Katy Perry’s halftime gig.
Imagine if a major player like Tom Brady or Belichick was in fact involved, and had to be disciplined for Sunday. The game, poised to be a great one on paper, would lose so much luster. Especially now that you have the “bad guys vs the bad guys turned good guys” overnight scenario going.
It’s been like waterboarding torture as a Jet fan trying to endure fifteen years of dominance from Foxboro. No matter how good some of the Jet teams have been its not been enough.
It would be worse though, to soon find out that a reason for that has been a systemic and decades long bag of Nixonian trickery by the Patriots. Crimes that until now had not been uncovered. I’ll believe those flat footballs were only the tip of the iceberg (as certain conspiracy theorists suggest) when I see real proof.
For now, I hope that Deflategate goes away in Arizona (although I doubt it will). Don’t cheat us diehards of the sport out of a fun X’s and O’s matchup here. I’m a football fan first.
April in January
Chan Gailey is the new OC. Kacy Rodgers is the new DC. Pepper Johnson the former Giant and Jet returns as D line coach. Gotham’s new duo began filling out key roles in the the staff and scouting department last week, but the guy whose name raised an eyebrow was Bobby April, who signed on as the new special teams coach.
April has been around for twenty years and has won ST coach of the year a few times (last one was back in 2008 but hardware is hardware). April not only looks for big plays with the ball (of course), his group’s have had low punt return yard averages too. It’s all about the players in the end for all of these new hires, but at least April has been successful in more than one place before.
This hire will be a difference maker if Gailey and Rodgers can do the job. Then those key stops by Jet manics running full steam downfield to smash punt returners, and those timely returns that leave the offense within striking distance will be meaningful.
You Tell Me
Who won the Pro Bowl? Yesterday I continued a lifelong protest of a game I am sure will one day ruin the career of a great player. Imagine a senseless injury to a player from your favorite team weeks out of consistent hardcore football training.
I know the rules are augmented for blitzing and the players don’t look to hit hard but still, just tell me that Nick Mangold and Sheldon Richardson returned safely to Florham. That’s the only score I was keeping yesterday in the Irvin vs Carter battle.
Your know how fans can go to Met life to throw and kick footballs before the games through goalposts and receiver targets? Let the skill players engage in stuff like that instead. Have the lineman do a hotdog eating contest .I’m a dope, I’d watch that. Willingly.
Either way better start to play it safe with your star names, NFL. You’re playing with fire here and now you’ve been warned.
– Quickly saw some article headline that read “Gailey can make Geno Smith a starting QB.” Fine. As long as THESE Jets don’t run the risk of creating the future headline “Geno endangers Gailey’s Job in New York.” Give the OC options and the power to pull the plug at any time. That’s all I ask for and from the sounds of Mike Maccagnan so far (who wont commit to anyone behind enter right now) that will be the end result. Thank god.
– Jets beat writer Paul Needell passed away at 57 and although I didn’t have the honor of reading him week to week back then (I was a strict News and Post guy. That’s it. For ALL news. As I just said above, dope.) he deserves more than a mere mention from me.
His work was so highly respected around here in the area, that I believe it was Mark Canizzaro who said they’d have a moment of silence in the booth in Arizona for him if the league didn’t do it themselves.
– Get ready. It’s coming. No, not this blizzard I hear is poised to destructively knock us back to the Roman times. I mean free agency.
“Can’t wait” (Bart Scott voice) until it really heats up following the big game. After we receive final word on the nature of those balls. Go ahead, say it again one more time for me. Balls. The dope is signing off until next week. Same Jet time. Same Jet channel.