New York Jets CBS Sadness

Mike Donnelly of TOJ breaks down an article proclaiming the Giants better than the New York Jets from Jason Keidel

A few weeks back I wrote an article breaking down a particular crappy column by Gary Myers of the Daily News. I borrowed the format from an old awesome website called Fire Joe Morgan (FJM) that used to pick apart things in a similar fashion, and we got pretty good feedback here from it. I’ve been waiting for another column to pop up that could match that level of absolute garbage, and today I believe I’ve found it! 

It is by someone named Jason Keidel and the link is HERE and is all about how the Giants are still a lot better than the Jets, because 2007/HelmetCatch/Eli/Rings/LOLJets or something. Anyway, I’m thinking we should name this series “Fire Gary Myers” in honor of FJM, so please be sure to comment down below what you think of that name. Oh yeah, also feel free to comment on how crappy this article is by Jason Keidel. Enjoy!

(His actual column is in bold. My comments are below them in regular font)

Keidel: Don’t Be Fooled — Giants Are Still A Much Better Bet Than The Jets

Sure, if the bet is – “what team will have more losses, more turnovers, a worse defense, more hilarious faces by their QB, or more delusional fans who point to 2007 as a reason for things in 2014”, then yes I agree. The Giants are a much better bet.

I got such a silly and sacrilegious tweet on Monday night that it rendered me inert.

Translation: I got really sad when someone pointed out my favorite team sucks on Twitter 🙁

Some Jets homer

ie: Someone with eyes

implied that Geno Smith is better than Eli Manning

EVERYONE is better than Eli Manning now.

Before you get all giddy about the 1-0 Jets, please remember that they simply — and barely — held serve against the wretched Raiders…

Anybody who watched that game saw they dominated the entire game. And if the Raiders are “wretched”, what would that make the Giants?

…a team that hasn’t mattered in a decade

Oh here we go. Gee, I wonder if we’ll start hearing about the Giants past success 7 years ago. I BET WE WILL!

I’ve been called all kinds of hater for my cynical take on Gang Green.

I’m guessing that’s because your takes probably suck and are wrong?

But even the most jaded Jets fan realized that if they didn’t defeat Oakland, then the season was a rather dire proposition.

What does that have to do with anything? They didn’t lose. They won. That’s like saying “Hey if the Allies didn’t take down Hitler, then they would be in a rather dire position!” Or even “Hey, if Eli didn’t throw all those damn interceptions maybe the Giants would be better!” The fact is the Jets won, so what the hell is the point of saying “Well, if they lost…”? They didn’t.

And for all of Smith’s pyrotechnic stats

Pyrotechnic? Oh, you mean his good stats from the good game he played. I got ya.

he still turned the ball over twice and tried a third

Yeah, poor crappy Geno tried to have a third turnover, but he couldn’t quite do it! A REAL quarterback like Eli Manning would have gotten that third one easily and been on to numbers 4 and 5! That’s how quarterbackin’ is done!

Manning has become a turnover machine of almost equal renown.

Hmm…are you referring to the player who leads the NFL in interceptions for the last 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 seasons? 

But he does have two Super Bowl rings and two Super Bowl MVP awards, which is perennially lost on the masses.

Is this lost on anybody? No, because we have to hear about it every freaking 2 seconds from delusional homer Giants fans who act as if things that happened 7 years ago matter today. THATS OK ELI, FORGET THAT PICK 6 SHOW THEM YOUR RINGZ!!

And maybe I was a bit bullish on Big Blue…

Because that’s what homer fans do. That’s OK.

…but I’m not going to retract anything 60 minutes into the season.

lol

We love the eternal sports edict that it’s not how you begin, but rather how you finish. And the sprawling platitudes about resilience and toughness and never quitting, and images of David Tyree pinning a pigskin to his helmet against all odds and laws of physics.

lol again. The Giants will be fine this year guys because David Tyree made a catch 7 years ago.

Among the winless are the Patriots, Packers, Chargers, Colts and Saints. Does anyone really think they will end on the bottom rung of their respective divisions?

Hmm, let’s see…better than the Giants, better than the Giants, better than the Giants, better than the Giants, aaaaand better than the Giants. You’re really comparing the GIANTS to those teams? The same Giants who were a dumpster fire last year, all preseason, and week 1 of 2014? Oh…

Jets fans can feel some relief at being a game up on the Patriots for the first time since the Civil War.

Nope, no bitterness at all to this line. None at all.

But can anyone assert with any certainty that this is where the teams will end their seasons?

This is just so stupid. No, I’m pretty sure the Patriots won’t finish winless. But again, this has nothing to do with the Patriots, does it? The Giants might go 2-14, why don’t we go back and talk about that some more?

Over their next six games, the Jets play the Packers, Bears, Lions, Chargers, Broncos and Patriots. Pray for 3-3 and relax.

Over their next six games, the Giants play the Cardinals, Texans, Redskins, Falcons, Eagles, and Cowboys. Pray for 1-5 and relax. 

And let’s not bury their MetLife co-tenants. We’ve seen this script before. The Jets once started 10-1 and didn’t reach the AFC title game, while Big Blue once started 0-2 and defeated the undefeated Pats.

Let’s talk about things from the 80’s! Hey, the Dolphins once started 1-0 and then finished undefeated. That means it’s probably going to happen again this year!

Not to defend the Giants,

but that’s exactly what I’m going to do…

But it’s quintessentially New York to stretch our first impressions over an entire season. Based on the last 48 hours, the Jets are a first-place team and the Giants a cellar dweller, in grand defiance of each team’s history over the last 30 years.

Does anybody else get the feeling if things were reversed and the Jets took a big dump on the field week 1 and the Giants look great, this article wouldn’t be about how we can’t put too much into week 1? And again…we’re going back 30 years now? So what happened in 1984 is relevant this season? That’s interesting. 

Granted, the Giants have been a front-four team, and this year’s squad is decidedly different and weaker. There’s no Justin Tuck, Michael Strahan or Osi Umenyiora to rally the downtrodden defense.

Yep, just part of why the Giants suck. I agree.

But if we are to remain true to our stated mantra that the HC/QB combo is the most sacred in the sport, then it’s still impossible to pick Rex Ryan and Smith over Tom Coughlin and Manning.

First, no it isn’t. Second, I’m pretty sure there are 53 players on the team, no?

Ryan has won nothing, yet we imbue him with almost biblical virtue every year. 

The hate is strong!!

Smith threw 12 touchdowns and 21 interceptions last year, yet he’s the anointed leader a few months later.

How did Eli do as a rookie? 

Coughlin has done nothing but win wherever he’s been, but we’re supposed to abandon his bio.

Except for when he got fired in Jacksonville and won nothing?

And if Gang Green groupies want to draw endless conclusions from opening weekend, then let’s also declare that the Bills and Dolphins — who pulled off big upsets — are exponentially better than we expected

Yes, two more teams better than the Giants, good point!

Let’s wait a few games before we crown or drown a team with opinions.

Nah. The Jets looked good. The Giants looked awful. Enjoy your 2007 YouTube highlights and the top 5 pick next May!

Author: Mike Donnelly

Mike Donnelly is a Staff Writer and life-long Jets fan, who was previously a featured columnist at multiple other New York Jets and fantasy football websites. He lives and works in finance in the NYC area and will help lead our Jets and NFL coverage in 2013.

  • Danish Jes

    Really a fun read. Both of them. Looks like I’ve got to watch that Giants game…

  • jmac_the_man

    Just to pile on…
    “Some Jets homer implied that Geno Smith is better than Eli Manning.”

    Not only is everyone better than Eli Manning, as you pointed out, but in terms of completion percentage, everybody is worse than Geno Smith, who lead the league last week in the category with 82%. (Smith’s passer rating is 14th among QBs*. Brady’s passer rating is 29th, and Eli doesn’t even make the top 29*.)

    “Coughlin has done nothing but win wherever he’s been, but we’re supposed to abandon his bio.”
    Tom Coughlin was the head coach of the Rochester Institute of Technology Tigers (D-III) from 1975-1977. During Coughlin’s tenure, the team was 0-30. In 1977, the school decided to fire Coughlin and end the football program.

    *The QB rating rankings I’m using exclude Robert Golden, a safety for the Steelers who threw one pass, a 25 yard completion. ESPN’s list of top 30 players by Week 1 passer rating include him, which is why I’m cutting the list off at 29 (Brady) rather than a more traditional number.)

  • Angel

    Wow.

    Newsflash: A delusional Giants fan is destroyed by a delusional Jets fan… film at 11.

    If anyone thought that BARELY pulling out a win against the Raiders was something to crow about, get ready for a rude awakening in the next 4 weeks. And if you think Geno’s stats outweighed his habitual diarrhea of turnovers… well then you must be higher than his completion percentage.

    Enjoy the win – I did – but let’s not hand the NFL season MVP award to Geno just yet… although most of the writers on this site would orgasm at the thought of it.

    I guarantee this: The Giants are going to suck hard this year and be WAAAAY worse than the Jets, but Eli is probably the smallest contributor to that doomed fate. The Offense and Defense coordinators on the Giants will both be out of a job within the next 3 years.

    AND, if Geno was slinging the rock for the Giants, they’d be playing a hell of a lot worse.

  • Joe Caporoso

    Hate! Hate! Hate! You are a pro at Geno-hating Angel!

  • KAsh

    “Coughlin has done nothing but win”

    This was the worst statement. Except for the two Super Bowl runs, Coughlin has not won a single other playoff game in New York. I am not a Giants fan because their entire offense and defense have been predicated on a single concept for over a decade. For the offense, it was throw the deep ball. For the defense, it was use talented DEs to rush the passer. When both worked – Super Bowl; when either was hampered or solved – one-and-done at best. Nobody calls a boxer that throws nothing but haymakers a good boxer, so nobody should call Coughlin’s football team a good football team.

    As for the article itself, it was an elongated Twitter rant in response to a tweet, which is the definition of stupid squared. It is way too early to compare Geno to Eli Manning, not least because QBs are always eavluated by their legacy and not their talent. Eli Manning is a mediocre QB that has two SB rings. Dan Marino was an awesome QB that never won one. But that said, to counter a stupid comment with an article about how the Giants can ride on their laurels from before the Great Recession or even the fall of the Berlin Wall is moronic. Giants’s fans brought up all this history last year after each of their first few losses to convince everyone about how they were going to turn around the season, but I think when they hit 0-4, they realized that history did not change the present reality of a bad team. Lots of teams have history, recent history, and cannot overcome some current limitation to make it back to the Super Bowl, whether it is the Patriots and their depletion of talent, the Packers and age/injury, the Saints and away games, or the Cowboys and Jerry Jones’s crazy contracts and impulses. The Giants are a bad team with two recent Super Bowls who have a starting QB in a new system that does not fit his strengths and weaknesses, an offensive line in shambles and in need of a lot of young talent, a defense that thought it could buy production and effectiveness, and a coaching staff that does not seem flexible enough to change their approach to the talent they have instead of asking their players to do something they cannot.

  • Nick Evans

    Much like the response to the horrendous Gary Myers this article this was perfect. I just pray these hacks read these articles you write. Well done and keep em coming!

  • Angel

    It’s such a cop out to call my legitimate criticism of Geno “hate.” Why not just call me a racist? Maybe you can’t because I was equally criticizing Kellen Clemens [which a lot of the writers on this site supported] for being a piss poor QB when Pennington was cut… but I digress…

    Let me just say this – for the record: I WANT Geno to improve and I WANT Geno to be a good QB. I don’t think he is there yet. No, I don’t think he is even “good” yet. His stats this past game against the hapless Raiders would have been a step in the right direction for me… IF NOT FOR THE TURNOVERS and the atrocious sack. So, YES – I hope Geno cleans up his act and becomes a good QB. If he becomes a great QB, even better.

    Anyway, I think we can all agree Geno HAS to get better.

    And, I think we can all agree that saying Geno is not a good QB yet and turns the ball over too much is not the same as saying “I hate Geno.”

    You know who I hate? Tom Brady. That guy’s a dickhead. But you know what? I think he’s a great QB.

  • PC3

    Some bitter billy got PAWNED!

  • Steve Windeler

    @Angel

    Racist

  • The Dude Abides

    Yeah the Giant fans memory is an interesting one. Pretty sure they are convinced that last season was some sorta dream. The same thing happened last year but they got awfully quite after week 4 or 5. Eli was and always will be an awful qb. The last OC of the giants figured out fast he what he had in eli and worked around him IE lining up all the WR to make the reads easier. Just stuff like that to hide eli’s inability to make a basic read. As soon as the talent around him started to fade his true colors came back out again. Not that before he was really stellar, a lot of his ’11 stats were fluffed by the fact the giants were always losing in the 4th and the defense on the opposing teams would switch to cover 3 or something conservative. I expect this to be coughlins last year he’ll want to retire or be asked to after this season crashes and burns. I couldn’t tell you how the jets will do this year but its pretty clear where the G(uess not ) men are going.

  • Angel

    @Steve

    LOL.