Turn On The Jets 12 Pack – Season Review Edition

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The Super Bowl is only two days away, which sadly means we are about to enter a dark period of no football. Gone are the days when you could disappear for 12 hour chunks of the day surrounded by multiple TVs and enough wings/beer to make you look like Vince Wilfork. I have really enjoyed using this blog as a consistent “work” crutch to gain freedom Mondays, Thursdays and Sundays from September to February. “Babe, I’d love to come to brunch and shop for cutlery but I HAVE to work today. Goddamn Jets are at 1 and then I have to keep an eye on the Patriots game at 4, and it is important I tweet during the Sunday night game. This BLOG IS SO HARD SOMETIMES!” She will usually rebuttal by asking why don’t I have one of our 8 other writers take care of it, at which point I have to throw Chris Gross under the bus despite him being a terrific writer and fully capable of it. “LEAVE IT TO HIM? HE CAN”T EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW TO OPEN WORPRESS! HE ISN’T READY!”…And with that I’m free for 12 hours of this paradise

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I’m not sure how the rest of you consume your NFL but I have developed a nice little system.

  • Big TV set to Jets game with volume on LOUD because I am immature and embarrassed of my exaggerated claps and yells for 4 yard Bilal Powell gains, which is pathetic until you realize a 4 yard Powell run looks like a 96 yard Adrian Peterson run to a Jets fan who has been watching Shonn Greene average .089 yards per carry the past three years.
  • Little TV muted with NFL Red-Zone on…you don’t see many touchdowns or red-zone action watching the Jets so I take in all I can from Red-Zone. Tony Sparano must HATE the Red-zZne channel. His preference would be repeated punts and 48 yard field goal attempts followed by fist pumps and BOOMS for all!
  • When the Jets aren’t on, I get the red-zone on the big TV with whatever other game is airing locally on the little TV. Nothing like watching Eli Manning skittish his way through a mediocre season with the knowledge that every 3-4 years he is going to randomly become Joe Montana for 6 weeks in December and January leading to another Giants Super Bowl. ELITE ALL-IN!
  • Laptop on the lap all day (probably doesn’t speak well to my future as a procreator) with the following windows open – Twitter (#LOLSANCHEZ), The running box score from the Jets game (Wait, it is the 3rd quarter and we still only have 19 yards of total offense?), A running conversation thread with a group of my friends from home who are all Giants fans (LOLSANCHEZ), My fantasy match-up (C’mon CROMARTIE’S KIDS!), and a running draft for my Initial Reaction at Turn On The Jets (Usually something cheerful like this)
  • Cell phone in constant contact with dismayed fellow Jets fans (I DON”T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING?!)

Anyway, this season saw plenty of this from your editor, let’s recap some of this year’s greatest hits -

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1. Way back in week 2, we had the apartment packed with Jets fans including fellow writers Chris Gross, Rob Celletti and Chris Celletti. Here were the Jets 1-0, coming off a beat-down victory over the Fredo Buffalo Bills and rolling down the field to a 7-3 lead against the Pittsburgh Steelers. Did you know through the first 5 quarters of the Jets season Mark Sanchez was 23/32, 344 yards, 4 TDs and 1 INT?! Then this happened -

It is like Lawrence Timmons knocked the hope out of this franchise. From that point on the game went south and early shock/excitement in the room wore off into anticipated depression about the season.

2. A few weeks later the Jets had a devastating overtime loss to the New England Patriots. I’m not sure about you but the loudest I cheered all season was when Antonio Allen recovered Devin McCourty’s kick return with only a few minutes left in the fourth quarter. The game (and hope for the season) was there for the taking but was of course not taken advantage of. As soon as Stephen Hill dropped that pass, most Jets fans knew the door was left open too far for New England and they were right.

3. In retrospect, the real season ender was the drubbing they took at home to Miami the following week…that was when radio personality/special teams savant Mike Westhoff’s unit allowed a blocked punt, blocked field goal and onside recovery in ONE HALF! I set a record for uses of the word “Awful” in Initial Reaction headlines this year.

4. The latter part of the season was a mash-up of boring wins and ugly losses until the Jets somehow found their way to 6-7 and relevant in the playoff race thanks to a thrilling 1 point win over Arizona and a heart-stopping 7 point win over the mighty Jacksonville Jaguars in front of 82 TEEEE-BOW fans who passed out in joy over the thought of seeing him run for 2 yards on 2nd and 14 and flex in conquest! SUCH INTANGIBLES!

5. In a miserable year, you had no choice but to get excited for the Monday Night game against the Tennessee Titans when the Jets still had a chance at the playoffs. Their offense and Sanchez in particular were such an unmitigated disaster that it truly reached levels of comedy. Even when they scored their only touchdown of the night (on a short pass to Jeff Cumberland), you couldn’t help but laugh because everybody looked so confused and awkward at how it happened.

6. The last two games were a picture perfect edition of how to play out the string awfully. Needless to say I wasn’t surprised when MCELROY-SANITY didn’t pan out considering he has zero arm strength or pocket presence. I’ve seen plenty of bad quarterbacking in recent years as a Jets fan and he fits right in.

7. Around this point you are probably saying, what about Thanksgiving? And to that I say…I have no idea what you are talking about. I remember turkey and some exciting day games…that’s it.

8. At least a couple of weeks ago we got to enjoy New England bombing out at home in the AFC Championship Game while Jim Nantz quietly wept in the background. Shocking how RAWBY NINKOVICH and company could be so awful on defense when the Patriots only draft captains! Don’t worry bandwagon Boston fans, you turn back to the Celtics…err…the Red Sox…err. Well Hockey is back!

9. What we’ll remember this season for -

  • Mark Sanchez turnovers
  • Tim Tebow irrelevance
  • Stephen Hill drops
  • Kyle Wilson Finger Wags
  • Calvin Pace being the slowest defensive player in the NFL
  • Shonn Greene being the slowest offensive player in the NFL
  • PROCESS

10. In fairness, let’s list Jets who had highly respectable NFL seasons in 2012 – Jeremy Kerley, D’Brickashaw Ferguson, Nick Mangold, Muhammad Wilkerson, Quinton Coples, LaRon Landry, Antonio Cromartie, Mike DeVito, Yeremiah Bell.

11. Snacks of the Year – Snyder’s Jalapeno Pretzels, Lime Tostitos, Cool Ranch Doritos (8 years running!) Atomic Wings, The chicken salad sandwich from Blue Moon Deli on 91st and 1st, Chicky’s on 86th, and East Side Eatery’s Steak Wrap.

12. This was exciting for us -

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