Turn On The Jets Week 16 Best Bets: Best Of 2012

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Week 15 Record: 0-3

Season Record: 14-29-2

Unfortunately, there are TWO more weeks of the regular season in the NFL.  God why can’t this just end sooner?

I will be doing a Best Bets piece for Week 17 (I’m sure you’re all in tatters with excitement), but Week 17 falls on Dec. 30 this year. I plan on spending the week between Christmas and New Years bathing in alcohol and greasy food, so I’ll just alert you now; I’m probably going to mail in my Week 17 column like Mike Francesa in August.

So because I’m sure you haven’t seen enough year-end “Best Of” or “Top (insert whatever here) of the Year” lists, here come a bunch more. You’re welcome, everybody. Here are my Top 5 in a whole bunch of important things from 2012:

Movies of the Year

1. Zero Dark Thirty - I saw this last night and the first thing that came to mind when I walked out of the theater was “I’ve just seen the best movie of the year, if not the last five years.” Super intense, brilliantly paced, well-acted all around. It’s impossible to make a movie about this subject do a better job than Kathryn Bigelow did. The scene of the actual raid of the Bin Laden compound was action film-making at its finest. Oh yeah and all those torture scenes that the government are telling you are “factually inaccurate”? Yeah, please, we totally did all that.

2. Silver Linings Playbook - If everything about this movie was the same except the Solitano family was from New York or New Jersey and they were massive Jets fans instead of Eagles fans, there’s a chance this would be my favorite movie of all time.

3. The Master - Daniel Day-Lewis is going to get the Oscar for Best Actor for Lincoln, but Joaquin Phoenix is just as deserving if not more.

4. Argo - As much as it may pain me to say this, Ben Affleck made a great movie.

5. Moonrise Kingdom – Wes Anderson quirkiness at it’s best. Children acting like adults, adults acting like children. Hilarious, outrageous and heartwarming at the same time.

Honorable Mention: Skyfall, The Dark Knight Rises, ParaNorman (no, really), Lincoln – and I fully expect Django Unchained to be great.

Mike D’Antoni Quotes of the Year (No explanation required)

1. “Uhhhhhhhhh”

2. ” Well, uhhhhhh”

3. “Now you’re startin’ to piss me off.”

4. “Uhhhhhh…Let’s go! Comeonnow! Let’s go!”

5.”Uhhhhhhhhhh”

Honorable Mention: “Well…uhhhhhh, you know…uhhhhhh”

Albums of the Year

1. Japandroids – Celebration RockWhen your quarterback could learn a thing or two about attitude from the lyrics of a Canadian alternative outfit… “When they love you, and they will, tell ‘em all they’ll love in my shadow / And if they try to slow you down, tell ‘em all to go to Hell”…you know your football team sucks.

2. Bruce Springsteen – Wrecking Ball -An 11-track anthem for the 99%.

3. Frank Ocean – channel ORANGE -If I was doing a Top Songs of the Year list (I’m not), “Pyramids” would be vying for the top spot. That song is mind-blowing.

4. Fang Island – Major - I didn’t know it was possible for an indie band to make anthems that are loud, fast AND fun. Major proved to me that you can.

5. Green Day – Uno! -Pop this in and you may think it’s 1994 all over again. Which would be great if you’re a Rangers or Knicks fan, and not so brilliant if you’re a Jets fan.

Honorable Mention – Rex Ryan f/Mike Pettine – “Sounds of a Defense”. My favorite tracks are “BOOOOOM” “46 Bear 4 Life” and “F&$!@% Sanchez”

Athletes of the Year

1. LeBron James – Thanks to this Grantland article, I was reminded that in Game 4 against the Indiana Pacers with his team down 2-1 in the series, LeBron went for 40 points, 18 rebounds and 9 assists. Holy hell.

2. Lionel Messi – He scored more goals in a calendar year than anyone in history. I’d say that’s fairly impressive.

3. Adrian Peterson – Putting together a year this great, in a league that’s going away from the run, after his knee was decimated late in 2011?

4. Rory McIlroy – Won the PGA Championship by a record 8 strokes, helped the European team to an all-time comeback at the Ryder Cup, and finished atop the PGA Tour’s Money List.

5. Henrik Lundqvist – A goaltender who played so ridiculously good over the course of an entire season. John Tortorella deserves a ton of credit for the Rangers finishing first in the East and making a deep playoff run, but the Rangers are nowhere near that good with standard goaltending. He deserved to win a Stanley Cup in 2012.

Honorable Mention – Usain Bolt, Michael Phelps, Nonito Donaire, R.A. Dickey, Jeremy Lin, Shonn Greene

“Same Old Jets” Plays of the Year:

1. Buttfumble - Sanchez’s Bubby Brister moment.

2. Season-Ending Snap Cluster%&!# – Blame it on Nick Mangold, blame it on Sanchez, take your pick. Picture perfect way for the meaningful part of Gang Green’s season to come to a close.

3. Joe McKnight’s Kickoff Fumble vs. New England – Couldn’t help but start laughing.

4. Sanchez’s OT Fumble in New England – The beginning of the end.

5. Tim Tebow signing a contract – Wait, no, THIS was the beginning of the end. While we’re at it…

Tim Tebow Plays of the Year:

1. 3-yard plunge

2. 2-yard plunge

3. Loss of 6

4. Incomplete Pass

5. 4-yard swing out to Jeremy Kerley

WHAT A FOOTBALL PLAYER!!!

Games/Events of the Year:

1. Pacquiao vs. Marquez IV – If you read this column (first off, thanks!) you know where I stand on this.

2. Manchester City’s Title-Winning Comeback – Watch this clip. If you say you’ve ever heard an American sports crowd go anything close to as insane as this, you’re lying through your teeth. Goalkeeper Joe Hart running around by himself in celebration is an incredible image. Martin Tyler’s call is probably the best call in live sports broadcast history. I’m not exaggerating.

3. Saints at 49ers, Divisional Playoffs  – I wish every football game was played like this. Rex Ryan doesn’t.

4. Winter Classic – Rangers vs. Flyers – The Rangers go down only to come back to take a lead in the third period. In the final minute, Henrik Lundqvist stones Danny Briere on a penalty shot with a slim one-goal lead. All in the fresh, open air.

5. Linsanity vs. the Lakers – Jeremy Lin outdid Kobe Bryant, dropping 37 points on the Lakers at MSG. Linsanity’s fever pitch.

Honorable Mention – Raul Ibanez pinch hits for A-Rod, hits game-tying and game-winning HRs, The Ryder Cup’s final day, Olympics Women’s Soccer Gold Medal game – U.S vs. Canada, No. 15 Lehigh beats No. 2 Duke

Oral Histories of the Year:

No yeah screw that, oral histories suck.

Jets Websites of the Year:

1. TurnOnTheJets.com - Yeah that about rounds out the list.

And now…the vaunted picks:

Redskins -6 at Eagles – Skins need it, Eagles are dead.

Giants -2.5 at Ravens – Ravens defense will have trouble with Eli, Cruz, Bennett etc.

49ers PK at Seahawks – Will be a defensive battle, but the Niners have the better big play capability.

Bonus Non-Football Bet of the Week (Season Record: 6-8-1) – Knicks -6 vs. Bulls AND the over (187)

Happy Holidays y’all!

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