Turn On The Jets Stock Watch – Angry Rant Edition

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It feels like I could just copy and paste parts of this column from the last few weeks and nobody would be able to tell the difference. Week after week it’s becoming the same old stuff when it comes to this Jets team. Too many turnovers, ineffective run game, blowouts, Calvin Pace sucks, Bart Scott sucks, Kyle Wilson is a delusional finger-wagger with an incredibly false sense of accomplishment, and Tannenbaum needs to be fired. It’s all on repeat, on a continuous loops, and no matter how much we all desperately want things to change, they aren’t going to. This team just has no talent, and off the field things are going from bad to worse. Let’s examine some of our recent issues.

BUY: Fireman Ed- I was never a huge fan of the Fireman, but for him to have to “resign” due to continued harassment and threats is downright disgusting. Let me get this straight: JETS fans went to JETS games to root for the JETS and decided to harass and curse off a big JETS fan, because he wore a JETS jersey of a JETS player to support him during his struggles to hopefully help the JETS win. Got it. That makes a ton of sense. And you wonder why Jets fans have such a bad reputation. Whether you like Ed or not, there is no reason for that kind of treatment.

He made game days more enjoyable for many people, even if you didn’t like him. He continued a Jets tradition, bringing the J-E-T-S chant over from Shea Stadium, and helped give the Jets an identity. Fans of every team know the Jets chant, and it’s an positive identifiable thing for a team that’s only other trait seems to be embarrassing losses. I’ve seen a ton of kids at home games throughout the years be hilariously pumped up to do the chant and see Fireman Ed, and to think that could be over now because of a few jerks, is disgusting. If you were one of those people trying to fight Ed because he wore a Sanchez jersey, well shame on you. You can turn in your Jets fan card at the door. Thanks.

SELL: Fans Cursing off Players – I’m sure you’ve seen the video of Jets fans cursing off players as they walked to the locker room at half time last Thursday by now. Again, if you were one of those people, you don’t deserve to call yourself a fan. I’m sick of hearing “I paid my money, I can say what I want at the game”. Well next time I hope someone punches you in the face. I was there and just as mad as anybody else, but can you show just a little self-restraint maybe?

SELL: $100 Jets Hoodies – I tweeted about this when I was on my way out of the Stadium on Thursday, but where do the Jets get off trying to sell their fans $100 sweat shirts?! Are they aware of what kind of product they’re putting on the field? I guess they need to sell a few of these so they can afford to bring Jason Hill back for the 12th time this year.

SELL: Ellis Lankster - Ellis Lankster just continues to ruin my football Sundays, or in this case Thursday holidays. Sadly, most of my friends are Giants fans, and I swear most of them look forward to watching the Jets game more than the Giants game each week just so they can laugh at me and comment on things like Calvin Pace’s lack of speed, Mark Sanchez’s turnovers, Stephen Hill’s drops, etc., etc. 

But lately Ellis Lankster has become the biggest cause of jokes and pain. Most of the things they say are unsuitable for print, but I thought I was in the clear on Thanksgiving night, since I was at the game with other Jets fans and was far from their wrath. Nope. My phone received no less than 15 text messages, all laughing and taunting me about how incredibly awful Ellis Lankster is. The sad part is I can’t even defend it. Ellis Lankster is THE WORST. When I rated him 47th out of 53 on this team back in October, I was being generous. They should run a contest every week where they pick a random seat number and the winner gets to go down to the field and play nickel back for the Jets defense. I swear they couldn’t do any worse than Ellis Lankster.

BUY: Getting to play Ryan Lindley and Arizona’s Offensive Line – If the Jets defense doesn’t step up and have an absolute party on the field this week, then I give up. Arizona has the worst offensive line in the league, and the worst quarterback play in at least a decade that doesn’t involve the words Jamarcus or Russell. I expect a few turnovers and — I hope you’re sitting down — maybe even a sack!

SELL: Having to play the Arizona Defense – Sigh. The Cardinals have an excellent defense and it’s going to be really hard for the Jets to move the ball. It’s going to be completely up to the defense to score and put this offense in extremely positive situations if they’re gonna have any hope.

SELL: The Jets going on a run – Sadly, I think the Jets are going to win 3 or 4 games down the stretch, including this one, and finish probably 7-9. That will mean they don’t get a high draft pick, they might not fire Mike Tannenbaum, and we will have to deal with a lot of the same crap next year. Ahh..,the Jets. What a team!

3 thoughts on “Turn On The Jets Stock Watch – Angry Rant Edition

  1. only thing that will work is this stadium being completely empty for their remaining home games,, stub hub has tickets for $18, I’ll repeat, 18 bucks, if that doesn’t tell you all you need to know… been a fan for 45 years,, were not quite the cubs,, but sadly, i’ll probably be dead before they win,, this is going to end up being like a red sox thing in 2004,, people will be on deathbeds praying to see the jets win one superbowl before they die

  2. MAN, I hate so many Jets fans it’s not even funny! Luckily, a lot of guys that visit this site aren’t the typical Jets fan idiots. I chalk that up to the quality product you writers on this site churn out everyday.

    And, by the way, if you are one of those idiots who ran Fireman Ed out of town, I would personally like to knock your “F”-ing teeth down your throat. No, I’m not a “tough guy”, but I have a “thing” for bullies and if you’re one of them, I have 5 fresh ones waiting for you.

    And people who enjoy the misery of others, including Giant fans who find enjoyment out of the Jets pathetic performances… “F” you too. People like this are the single biggest problem that is wrong with humanity. It’s called “Schadenfreude”, and it’s just plain evil. If you enjoy this kind of stuff – congratulations, you are rotten to your “F”-ing core and you’re a miserable excuse for a human being. Really, these are the same idiots who watch America’s funniest videos and roll on the floor laughing when someone gets hit in the nuts. We live in a genuine “Idiocracy.”

    Anyway, to switch gears, I would go so far as to say that if the Jets “run the table” and finish 9 – 7, and make the playoffs… everyone in the front office should keep their jobs. I would only fire the QB coach, a few scouts, and Mike Westoff.

    JUST KIDDING about Mike Westoff. I’m just making a point that even the best Special Teams coach in the league is having a shitty year. That doesn’t mean you fire him, he’s still the best in the league. If you’re smart, you give him the opportunity to get his shit together and whip these guys asses into shape for next year… that goes double for Rex.

  3. Yup – you nailed it with the “going on a run” point – It’s a recurring nightmare I have where the Jets stumble into a record and subsequent draft position precisely one spot away from the next Ray Lewis :( Then, still staggering from this realization, with the 9th pick in the draft the NY Jets select… (basically fill in this blank with some random TE or division 3 guy not even Mel Kiper has heard of)the NEXT Blair Thomas.

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