Ten Things New York Jets Fans Never Need To See Again

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New York Jets fans have been subjected to a generally crap product this season. However, these ten things in particular stand out as things they never need to stomach watching again. Fans of other teams…consider yourself lucky you don’t have to watch them on a weekly basis -

1. The Kyle Wilson Finger Wag

Everybody who has followed the Jets since 2010 knows Kyle Wilson is a textbook first round bust. At first the excuse was that he was being forced to play in the slot and “didn’t have the sideline to help him”…even though he was equally awful on the outside. The thing about Wilson is that he doesn’t know how to play the ball in the air, has terrible footwork and not much make-up speed. The most infuriating thing? His tendency to wag his finger after incompletions. He does it after he is beat by 10 yards and the wide receiver drops it. He does when he interferes with the receiver. He does it after he is beat for a touchdown earlier in the game and then somehow forces an incompletion later in the game. I look forward to Wilson not being brought back next year and settling into to a comfortable career of being Jacksonville’s 4th corner.

2. The Stephen Hill Flag Beg

Hill is a very raw rookie with a good amount of potential. However, he hasn’t yet mastered how to get open in the NFL. Actually he isn’t even really close yet. That is okay, most of us expected that in his first year. What we didn’t expect was Hill incessantly begging for a flag after an incompletion thrown his way, including on ones where there is clearly no penalty or he just drops the ball. I wonder where Hill learned to beg for a flag like that, hmmm….

3. Calvin Pace Rushing The Passer

The Jets paid Pace about $500 million dollars before the 2008 season to be their elite pass rusher (that number is only a slight exaggeration). He posted 7 sacks in 2008, then improved to 8 sacks in 2009. Here he comes! Not really, since then he declined to 5.5 sacks, 4.5 sacks and now only 2 sacks so far this year. Every year Pace gets just a little slower as we are forced to watch him struggle towards the quarterback while the quarterback calmly makes a sandwich in the pocket before lofting a pass over to the wide receiver old “Finger Wag Wilson” is covering.

4. Tim Tebow 2 Yard Runs

The Jets have been utterly clueless about how to use Tim Tebow this season. However, lost in the shuffle is how generally crappy he has been running the football when given a chance. He has 27 carries for 92 yards, for a whopping 3.7 yards per carry. What is worse is that when you take out his one outlier 22 yard scamper against Pittsburgh, he is averaging 2.5 yards per carry! Of course Tebow can always silence the criticism after his runs by flexing and yelling at the sideline. Things like that make announcers weep with joy…”My God…what a FOOTBALL PLAYER.”

5. Shonn Greene 2 Yard Runs Followed By The SLOWWWW Get-Up

Shonn Greene is the Webster’s definition of “Plodding,” after Greene plods for a 2 yard run to set the Jets up with 2nd and 8, he has a tendency to get up extremely, extremely slow giving off the appearance of being hurt. He then lumbers back to the huddle, as the Jets frantically shift personnel so they could set up for their inevitable 2nd and 8 miscommunication/incompletion followed by the 3rd down sack. Where’s the punt team?!!

6. The Mark Sanchez Pump Fake

Sanchez frequently chooses to pump fake when he has a wide receiver wide open in order to give the defensive back a chance to get into place for an interception. Whenever Sanchez starts pumping, if you listen closely enough you can hear every Jets fan in the tri-state area going “NOOOOOO….JUST THROW IT AWAY! AHHH”

7. The Clyde Gates First Down Point

This only happened once but it is the type of thing that drives fans insane. The Jets were down 27-3 in the 4th quarter against Miami when Gates (maybe the worst active WR in the NFL right now) caught a meaningless first down. He immediately got up and gave a prolonged first down point. Where would he learn such an idea? Hmmm….

8. The Muffed Punt

The Jets might have muffed 19 punts and kicks in the last 2 seasons. It is at the point now, where I’d be more comfortable if they just sent 11 at the punter and didn’t put a returner deep…but that would likely just lead to an Eric Smith personal foul for roughing the kicker.

9. Eric Smith

What are your five most memorable Eric Smith plays with the Jets? Mine are botching the blitz on Tebow against Denver last year (FOOTBALL PLAYER!), missing the tackle on Victor Cruz for the 99 yard touchdown (SALSA!), 4,000 helmet to helmet hits blended together for killer 15 yard penalties (HARD NOSED), him draped off Gronk’s leg when he caught his 8th touchdown against us on Sunday night last year (SPIKE), and when he had that interception back in 2009 (see this isn’t all mean-spirited and bitter).

10. #63 Is Eligible! 

Do you know any other team in the NFL that uses an offensive lineman at tight end 20+ snaps per game? I guess the Jets are just smarter than the 29 other offenses they are ranked behind who you know…use actual tight ends and wide receivers in their proper positions.

-

TOJ TNF PICKS (AFC EAST TURD BOWL)

  • Joe (Bills -2.5)
  • Chris C (Bills -2.5)
  • Rob  (Bills -2.5)
  • Chris G (Bills -2.5)
  • Mike D (Miami (+2.5)
  • joeydefiant

    You forgot the Tony Sparano fist pump after kicking a field goal in a game we are losing by 14 points.

  • joeydefiant

    12. John Gruden or Chris Collinsworth talking about Tim Tebow’s INTANGIBLES.

    13. Listening to other fans talk about starting McElroy because he was a winner in college and compare him to Joe Montana and Drew Brees.

  • Mark Phelan

    Rex continuing to lose 250 lbs a year, so he is gone next summer….One thing I would like to see. Even better, if he would eat MT just before evaporating.

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  • keator

    Number 1 needs to be mark taking the field on the first series

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  • Coach

    Joe,
    Probably one of your best articles to date! Great stuff. Here is my contribution:
    A-Rex Ryan yelling F-U after the first series of the game
    B-Rob Ryan just yelling (I know he is not a Jet coach but aren’t we all sick of him getting face time every three minutes of the broadcast)
    C-Tony Sparano. Period!

  • dmd

    I really enjoyed this article… It is too bad you don’t have a “shut up and play the damn game” coach opposed to a gluttonous braggadocious POS that Rex Ryan was the prior 3 years, I wonder where they get it… and how do you not put in the 4 yard slants landing in the 4th row of the crowd.