New York Jets – Who Wants To Make A Trade?

A somewhat serious look at the trade value of players on the New York Jets roster

Perhaps Mike Tannenbaum is burning up the phone lines today before the NFL’s trade deadline in hopes of improving his decrepit roster. Here is a look at the estimated value of some players on the New York Jets who they might like to part with –

Tim Tebow – Backup quarterback who isn’t trusted to throw or run a standard NFL offense/Perpetual media headache/H-Back who can’t catch/Punt protector who can’t block – 

Estimated Value – Conditional 7th round pick, which is sent if Tebow can throw 10 straight 10 yard passes without one-hopping more than half of them or a lock of Blaine Gabbert’s hair. Tannenabum should also consider this if Jaguars owner Shahid Khan agrees to shave his mustache.

Bart Scott – Run stopping linebacker who misses a bunch of tackles and can’t cover a single a skill position player in the NFL/High maintenance in the locker room/Wildly overpaid

Estimated Value – An extra sweater vest for Rex Ryan to wear for December home games.

Calvin Pace – Pass rushing linebacker who can’t get to the quarterback/Prone to foolish statements to the media/Wildly overpaid

Estimated Value – Jamaal Westerman or Marques Murrell…maybe with a Chad Cascadden jersey thrown in if Tannenbaum plays his cards right.

Aaron Maybin – Designated pass rusher who has no pass rushing moves/Gives more quotes to the New York media than any player roster despite playing 5 snaps a game (AKA “Tebow reps”) 

Estimated Value – The leading tackler on the worst team currently in the UFL…is that still a league?

Shonn Greene – Bell Cow who isn’t a top 30 running back in the NFL/Doesn’t know a single juke move/Enjoys running directly into defenders when it is unnecessary

Estimated Value – Rod “He Hate Me” Smart. Cedric Houston.

Kyle Wilson – First round corner who frequently gets beat deep by mediocre receivers and then wags his finger after

Estimated Value – A ticket to the annual Jets/Eagles pre-season game, in the non-PSL seats. “It’s Go Time!”

Author: Joe Caporoso

Joe Caporoso is the Owner and EIC of Turn On The Jets. His writing has been featured in the New York Times, Huffington Post, MMQB and AdWeek. Caporoso played football his entire life, including four years at Muhlenberg as a wide receiver, where he was arguably the slowest receiver to ever start in school history. He is the VP of Social Media at Whistle Sports

  • its really sad the way u work sometimes

  • when everything is good this team is great but when they r not u think everybody and their momma suck. i really dont know how u have been a jet fan for this long, it amazes me.

  • e star – it’s funny/true And in the Jets case the truth hurts

  • BelmontQRubb

    Oh Joe you nut.
    This is amusing ’til you consider the humor is based on real-life performances.
    Don’t worry though; bell-bottoms, and the Jets, will be back-someday…

  • mike

    You know, it’s people like you that give Tebow such a hard time – your writers just don’t understand how you affect Tebow’s career. He is an exciting football player to watch and you media people basically chased him out of Denver… now you’re trying to chase him out of NY…. Can’t you find something Positive to write about a positive human being???

  • Wilson sucks a # 1 get a GM&a coaching staff & of corse a QB Jet fan since the titans

  • Justin

    The funny thing is that you didn’t include Anthony Cromartie. This guy is terrible. He constantly gets beat, and the only reason he gets so many interceptions is because the QB happens to accidentally throw to the wrong guy instead of the original receiver that Cromartie was covering. Meaning, Cromartie got burnt, but the QB didn’t notice it. Cromartie just happens to be around the receiver that the QB intended to throw to by accident.