Perhaps Mike Tannenbaum is burning up the phone lines today before the NFL’s trade deadline in hopes of improving his decrepit roster. Here is a look at the estimated value of some players on the New York Jets who they might like to part with –
Tim Tebow – Backup quarterback who isn’t trusted to throw or run a standard NFL offense/Perpetual media headache/H-Back who can’t catch/Punt protector who can’t block –
Estimated Value – Conditional 7th round pick, which is sent if Tebow can throw 10 straight 10 yard passes without one-hopping more than half of them or a lock of Blaine Gabbert’s hair. Tannenabum should also consider this if Jaguars owner Shahid Khan agrees to shave his mustache.
Bart Scott – Run stopping linebacker who misses a bunch of tackles and can’t cover a single a skill position player in the NFL/High maintenance in the locker room/Wildly overpaid
Estimated Value – An extra sweater vest for Rex Ryan to wear for December home games.
Calvin Pace – Pass rushing linebacker who can’t get to the quarterback/Prone to foolish statements to the media/Wildly overpaid
Estimated Value – Jamaal Westerman or Marques Murrell…maybe with a Chad Cascadden jersey thrown in if Tannenbaum plays his cards right.
Aaron Maybin – Designated pass rusher who has no pass rushing moves/Gives more quotes to the New York media than any player roster despite playing 5 snaps a game (AKA “Tebow reps”)
Estimated Value – The leading tackler on the worst team currently in the UFL…is that still a league?
Shonn Greene – Bell Cow who isn’t a top 30 running back in the NFL/Doesn’t know a single juke move/Enjoys running directly into defenders when it is unnecessary
Estimated Value – Rod “He Hate Me” Smart. Cedric Houston.
Kyle Wilson – First round corner who frequently gets beat deep by mediocre receivers and then wags his finger after
Estimated Value – A ticket to the annual Jets/Eagles pre-season game, in the non-PSL seats. “It’s Go Time!”